Two Years After The Wails

The banshee’s wail, thought to be a warning for those who hear it’s cries and screams, may neither be a warning or meant for them at all.

The Earth shattering realization mere moments away from the comforts of deep slumber while the world whizzes on by at its usual pace of millions of nonsensical cares a second, for a minute second, halted. The wail of a banshee was not that to be a warning for others this time, but of uncontrollable grief taking hold of the body as it dropped to the floor. It’s only ability given to offer, is that of unrelentless heartache while the air escapes each crevasse of the lung. The lasting effects of those who’ve heard it, are a scorched memory of that night forever left a reminder that this is when it all changed.

Two years have now gone. Two years of life nonexisting. Two years of moments, hugs, kisses, laughter not stolen nor captured. Two years of heartaches unending and beyond mendable where you once were. Two years of everything changing.

That night we started running. Once that shockwave subdued long enough, once feet were able to be planted ever so, we started. We’ve yet to look back. It took near an hour, but we got there. Into the car, buckled, blanketed to calm the cold, and with a destination desperately needing to find us there. The wailing still fresh in my soul, it was then up to me, at those earliest of hours, to make sure the distance was gone. The only feelings that were there to guide were those that knew exactly what the physical road was presenting ahead, the same miles these bones had traveled for years before and knew so well. Everything else was empty and useless with no way of knowing how anything at that time. It was just important that we go, and that I knew how to get there.

Since that night, hours have faded into days fading into months with memories of happier things holding back all the pain. Things yet to come will be sorted in their ways when they need to be, while each day, two little worlds continue to grow and thrive. They are protected from everything and will always be so for as long as they need or wish to be. They know the realities of how harsh life can and will be, but they also know that your sword and shield once protecting them, has been picked up and continues through this day.

Two years gone. Two years of amazing growth. Two years of running, many more to go.

Two years never forgotten with dozens more remembering.

A Light Shines Through

It’s been nearly a year since the knock on deaths door was heard; a year of everything changing, evolving. No longer the same man that once inhabited this body; alone with one’s thoughts can have a chilling effect on how they perceive themselves. There was death’s hand that day; the only one stretched out in those early hours of emptiness. It was not taken, but left stretched during that long drive. It would have been easy to grab hold of it, yanking him in nice and close. But no good would have come from this act. He was useless as ever in those hours, and I wasn’t ready to deal with him just yet. He could squander a few more hours away, waiting.

Those hours quickly turned to days, then weeks, and now almost a year has passed. The darkest days have long gone, with new opportunities coming in every day. A steady job has been held since the aftermath, with freedoms that are greatly needed. More adventures have been taken with kids eager to conquer the worlds around them, and I’ve been there each step of the way. Watching things unfold, helping plans progress, all while the past remains where it is; a lesson to be forgotten within the ingrained history of myself.

Rather sad than funny, how you were once willing to let everything slide in order to be with the person that nearly killed you… But those days are done, forgotten about. Now, a new light breaks through the grey dull that has settled within. Slowly, with purpose, it has cleared the way for new, better opportunities experienced. Some days death is a welcomed friend; this day was a lesson taught by death, and turned around.

The House

The house is wrong tonight…..
The house is dark tonight….
The house is empty tonight….
We that remain hide….
Take refuge from the night….
Mighty cat joins us alone….
The house is wrong tonight….
The house is quiet tonight….
The house has too many shadows….
While there are no lights….

The house is wrong tonight….
The house is empty tonight….
The house has lost it’s soul….
The house is dying tonight….
And it is awakening from the depths….
Stealing every last soul on its way….

The house is wrong tonight….
Filled with dreadful silence….
For all the world to hear….
And none shall ever notice….
The house that screams….
Empty in the night….

A Story Untold, Pt. 1

Once upon a time has been used, perhaps, in this setting, just once, too many times. No, this will not be a happily ever-after fantasy. I’ll save for those poor souls who need it more that journey. Quite instead, I think we’ll begin ours a bit, differently this time ’round. You see, I’ve never been one to be able to sit and write quite so easily; finishing a story in its entirety, but rather, offer extreme glimpses over the whole of a lifetime. Mayhaps this time shall be different, I hope.

Oh, I don’t recall so easily how, or even why I ended up sitting down at that moment, but it was crucial that I did. More so, that I begin writing down my thoughts as they quickly, almost quietly slipped past my conscious. These words needed to be writ before it was too late to capture them. See here now, that once the thought has occurred in such a manner, nay shall it be allowed to do so the same again. And shouldn’t that be the point of it all? To have the stroke of genius strike but only once to a man? No, I didn’t think so either, least before sitting down that night.

Sadness is a human affliction, or so we’ve been lead to believe. Rather differently I believe, it is an affliction of life. One that spans all creatures, regardless if they have higher functions or not. Though there are different levels of sadness, to be felt by each, at different times, and with different intensities, there are some to whom, rather unfortunately, must deal with great shades of pain and sadness, all within a single lifetime of living. Then there are those poor souls, who must deal with it all in extremely short spans of time. Some turn to dull the pains brought, others are driven made by it. While some, much like myself, abuse it in order to bring new life from it. We don’t control it, but we also don’t let it control ourselves. We simply respect it, learn from it, and every now and then, ride the waves as they come crashing.

See here, this writer’s heart, mind, and soul have all been through levels of hell unfathomable to others. But yet here it wrote this, still kicking, fighting, dying. It’s oft been writ before, and to be so again, of the pain and suffering that we’ve journeyed through together. It’s been broken, abused, and used more times than care to recall. It’s also known immense joys within incredible sorrows. Yet all three continue to press forwards. There are times, oh there are many times, when it all comes swelling once more within. A few stray tears will fall, and the room heavy, will grow. But the journey still continues to carry forth from depths once unknown.

A Letter From Daddy

My Dearest Emersyn,

From the moment of your birth, to this day, and every day that has yet to pass; you have, and will always be loved. You have an amazing personality, a magnificent soul within you. Each day, you have continued to grow into a beautiful person, and I am lost in amazement by you.

Though we don’t see each other every day, you are in my thoughts each moment of them, and in my heart always. Each time you are with me, though short it may be, our bond grows closer, stronger; our love and admiration for each other, between a daughter and her daddy, becomes deeper with each memory made.

You are not losing a daddy today, but instead gaining another who loves you just as deeply, just as fiercely, and loyally. You are gaining a step-mom today; who will forever be there for you in every way needed as I have, and will continue to always be there for you.

We are adding to our family, a wonderful woman, who will continue to love us both, and be an added cornerstone to the lives we are able to share with each other.

I love you Emersyn

Now and Always

o264838

Winter’s Amusement

Used to be life made so much sense with everything floating perfectly
Nothing left to chance to be left behind forgotten sidelines
Time ticks away eating at all your hearts desires ungiving in it’s taking
Just takes the afternoons away sweeping them past by never seen again

Roads missed turns lead you to your next burns
Walk the fire without a rope beneath your souls
Dangling up on high deserted skies of desire
Desperate search shows everythings now long gone

Floating on the rainbows you hope keep their gold
While the emptiness fills you deep inside
Pains of waiting with unknown clouds so high
Falling further past your ledge expires

Spinning gears turn all around ready to crush your crown
Wrong move just once will bring you down to different clouds
Marching on without the cares of troubles made
Time gives not for your feeble minds
Or hearts desire

Used to be such bright sunny days
Winds of change come sweeping past the town
Cold winds to chill the bone
Stop a heart right in their tracks

Life had so much sense left within
Never swaying with the winds
How those days long for a return
Watch the steps plant your feet
Another chance to lose your self

Day begins with days endings not shown
Sail the race as best you could unknown
Why we deal with old machines
Unrelied for what they’d mean

Lost in the world trying to find a way home
Lose yourself in the innocents pure joys
Never stepping out of line
Is there any wisdom you can use?

o1725664