A Story Untold, Pt. 1

Once upon a time has been used, perhaps, in this setting, just once, too many times. No, this will not be a happily ever-after fantasy. I’ll save for those poor souls who need it more that journey. Quite instead, I think we’ll begin ours a bit, differently this time ’round. You see, I’ve never been one to be able to sit and write quite so easily; finishing a story in its entirety, but rather, offer extreme glimpses over the whole of a lifetime. Mayhaps this time shall be different, I hope.

Oh, I don’t recall so easily how, or even why I ended up sitting down at that moment, but it was crucial that I did. More so, that I begin writing down my thoughts as they quickly, almost quietly slipped past my conscious. These words needed to be writ before it was too late to capture them. See here now, that once the thought has occurred in such a manner, nay shall it be allowed to do so the same again. And shouldn’t that be the point of it all? To have the stroke of genius strike but only once to a man? No, I didn’t think so either, least before sitting down that night.

Sadness is a human affliction, or so we’ve been lead to believe. Rather differently I believe, it is an affliction of life. One that spans all creatures, regardless if they have higher functions or not. Though there are different levels of sadness, to be felt by each, at different times, and with different intensities, there are some to whom, rather unfortunately, must deal with great shades of pain and sadness, all within a single lifetime of living. Then there are those poor souls, who must deal with it all in extremely short spans of time. Some turn to dull the pains brought, others are driven made by it. While some, much like myself, abuse it in order to bring new life from it. We don’t control it, but we also don’t let it control ourselves. We simply respect it, learn from it, and every now and then, ride the waves as they come crashing.

See here, this writer’s heart, mind, and soul have all been through levels of hell unfathomable to others. But yet here it wrote this, still kicking, fighting, dying. It’s oft been writ before, and to be so again, of the pain and suffering that we’ve journeyed through together. It’s been broken, abused, and used more times than care to recall. It’s also known immense joys within incredible sorrows. Yet all three continue to press forwards. There are times, oh there are many times, when it all comes swelling once more within. A few stray tears will fall, and the room heavy, will grow. But the journey still continues to carry forth from depths once unknown.

Writer’s Lament

Crank the tunes, two in the morning, headphones leaving that familiar burning about the ears. Fingers busted wide across the keyboard stinging from pencils furious repetitions across blackened pages. WRITE! Just write anything that comes flowing into the unconscious consciousness that comes. Delirious sleeping of letters flying around. Pictures from within, worlds emerge, stories write themselves. Beats. Scribbles. Blood. Technicolor lines. Write to the heartbeat, the drumbeat, the guitar strum, every third word heard or object noticed. Play the story. Be the story. Let it sink into that bottomless pit hidden deep within the soulless hells that get tucked away from the light of day. Go fishing for it and yank its sorry ass back to the surface, squeezing it for every last drop the pencil can muster up. Worry not about repercussions. Don’t read it back. Just write. The butcher can make it the beautiful steak once all the blood is drained later. Don’t hold back!

Winter’s Amusement

Used to be life made so much sense with everything floating perfectly
Nothing left to chance to be left behind forgotten sidelines
Time ticks away eating at all your hearts desires ungiving in it’s taking
Just takes the afternoons away sweeping them past by never seen again

Roads missed turns lead you to your next burns
Walk the fire without a rope beneath your souls
Dangling up on high deserted skies of desire
Desperate search shows everythings now long gone

Floating on the rainbows you hope keep their gold
While the emptiness fills you deep inside
Pains of waiting with unknown clouds so high
Falling further past your ledge expires

Spinning gears turn all around ready to crush your crown
Wrong move just once will bring you down to different clouds
Marching on without the cares of troubles made
Time gives not for your feeble minds
Or hearts desire

Used to be such bright sunny days
Winds of change come sweeping past the town
Cold winds to chill the bone
Stop a heart right in their tracks

Life had so much sense left within
Never swaying with the winds
How those days long for a return
Watch the steps plant your feet
Another chance to lose your self

Day begins with days endings not shown
Sail the race as best you could unknown
Why we deal with old machines
Unrelied for what they’d mean

Lost in the world trying to find a way home
Lose yourself in the innocents pure joys
Never stepping out of line
Is there any wisdom you can use?

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In Blink’s Of Eyes

In blink’s of eyes, life passes by
In blink’s of eyes, life quickly dies
In moments past, yet to come
Living days, one to one
New lives come, old ones leave
Quicker than changing leafs

Setting sun on last days run
Lonely breath is all that’s left
As the body slowly gives up

Life moves one with memories remain
And moments lost never regained
Nor future ones be shared
From blink’s of eyes
To eternal stares

Of little moments not to share
A watchful knowing is always there
As life grows on in little smiles
Pictures past will show her why
With past and future meeting again
In only photos years begin

Neither man nor wife will ever meet
Nor see the future with disbelief
A single child with eyes wide
Only moments was captured by
Within those moments of smiles and eyes
Generations crossing paths

With past now gone, and future wide
Memories keep them alive
In few pictures that do survive
They’ll know the ones by their sides
Stories told each every night
To keep their memories alive
Now long gone from blink’s of eyes

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Evening Of The Dark

In evening dusk’s dispares of last fading light
Minds begin drifting to other lands beyond
With the last beams of light clinging in hues
Let it all slip away from your control slowly
As darkness embraces your form all around

Last glimmers of consciousness sliding away
With dangers increasing from the grounds
Racing to find waiting once more for you
That special someone who brings you thru

Its settled now with no chances left to help
Fully surrounded with no escape possible
You’re now one with it burning deep inside
The sadness immeasurable to compare
But in the dark they already know just how
And soon will prey on all you have left

Shadows of shadows moving about
Caught from corners of eyes every glance
Panic ensues within the mind quickly now
Will you survive the night alone on your journey
Or will you just barely make it home

It was early fall that day she felt the pang
Darkness has shadows traveling constantly
With this one settling in her graces as she worried
So far away he was still unsure to make it

Shadows block out light from in front
No longer seeing the glowing eyes on either side
Or from the trucker always up ahead
Timing was perfect in its desperation to act
Darkness was thrown away instantly from there

Flames keeping it all at bay with screams inviting
The waiting game now time to be played
As death watched from far away beyond the dark

Who would win out in the end? Brave hearts or the overwhelming blankness of the dark night?

Hidden Views

Minds of a child and those of the seeing
Both can describe horrors too great viewed
Why do children fear the darkness
For held within are things to be feared

The bump in the night
Slight clicking of heaters
Clanks of ducts
Or wheels rolling by

The eyes seen in corners in darkness
The teeth gleaming from empty source
Noises that shouldn’t but are
Chills that scream flight

Sleeping as best you can
2am rolls around once more
Never a good time to be light
For only the deep sleepers survive

Suddenly awakened with eyes closed
Body unable to flinch despite urges
Complete paralysis as your eyes see
Even thru closed lids you see what’s there
The body can’t move but the soul’s in agony

You attempt to scream giving it everything you’ve got
It’s flight or fight to the death time
Yet nothings happening whilst danger grows
It knows you’re weak lying there
Knows you can see everything but do nothing

You give it a quick chuckle swearing in your mind
What can you do but surrender to it now
How can you fight what’s not seen awake
What doesn’t fully exist in our realm

It was across the room at first
Now standing just feet from me
Not much bigger than a kid
I can end this being if weren’t stuck
And it knows it well

It moves closer still
Observing the struggle
Pausing for a moment curious
Then flees back to the corner
It’s worried now

Unable to move yet scaring it away
Whisper softly to it in full rage
I know you and will end you soon
Looking directly at it thru closed eyes
I taunt it with a memory of the last time

Waking up to the room cold at 3am is never fun
Waking up realizing what just happened is worse
The sickening feeling of having no control over your body
Of having to do a self check to make sure feeling is there
Legs and arms feel wrong with racing heart and deep anger

Calming down still filled with anger
Taunting the bastards in the morning darkness
Hard to see when it all looks fuzzy
But the shapes are still there that shouldn’t be

Laying back down glancing at the clock
It’s only 3:15 this time with two hours left
Softly drift back to sleep aware
Only a few more days and it’ll be worse

Days pass quickly without incident
Then a noise that’s brushed easily
Nothing more than the dishes settling
But the voice after wasn’t expected

Can feel the anger rising once more
Whisper calmly towards the darkened area
Guess I’ll see you again tonight
A strange breeze is felt but from where

Clouds are heavy tonight with rain predicted
The moon completely shut out from sight
With the glow of electronics removed
The room is darker than ever
I taunt as I roll over
I’ll see you later bitch!

5am rolls around to the sound of an alarm
I wake up stiff, sore and still tired
I hadn’t moved all night yet exhausted
The room was lighter feeling again
Even though dark, it was peaceful once more

That was three weeks ago now
And the lightness has faded
Replaced with heaviness
A draining energy once more

Being awakened by those eyes
The feeling of helplessness
It’s starting again
And it’s pissing me off

The darkness can hold many things from light
But it cannot hold them for very long
There are demons that each must face
Some handle better, others not so
But some, like me, fight nightly

It’s not the dark that captures our fear
It’s what’s behind that veil that does
It reflects what’s in us
As well as what we’ve forgotten is around us

To the dark I will go
With peaceful body left once more
For there are things I must destroy
Before they destroy me

To sleep I depart now
With a rage as before
To wake in the morning
Is never for sure

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