Letting Go

Could it really be?
After months, years hidden away?
Could I be ready this time?
To open once more to pain and sorrows?

For I sit in the shadows
Night into day
They’re always aware
Ready to twist dreams to nightmares

Hearts on the table
Too much pain to let it stay
Removed it last fall
At the turning of days

The pain was destructive
The cold of little comfort
Snow where I bled
Trailed to my bed

Lost in the world
Devoted to the job
Personal life sacrificed
Now to remove memories

Each night I sleep
Coin tossed in air
Dreamless or nightmares
Were all I did know

Hidden away from the dawn of new days
I stare at my screen watching it bleed
Fill it with life that was taken that night

After all this time
Could I be ready once more?
Should I open that door?

Fear grips my mind
Try to realize
What’s best to be done
Is there no where I can run?

Sit most nights a tear in my eye
That refuses to leave
Just hangs there
Like a forgotten memory

How can one tell its right?
That time has quelled
Enough flaws and holes
To be worthy to be whole

When does that sweet sigh come
To let you know you’ll be whole
To not worry about an end
But to wonder whats around the bend

Where’s my sign?
Is it in clouds of sky
Or hidden inside?
Will I know when I see it
Or just pass it by
As oft time before?

How can one know scars unseen
Placed deep inside their bring
Have healed enough
To be put back in another’s hands?

How do you know
When you’re ready
To let go?

Do you just let go
Jump straight in the flow
No safety nets abound
All lifelines cleared

When does the soul realize
It’s ready to begin again?