Broken Pasts

Its another four in the mornin’, and I’m wide awake
Just laying in bed, startin’ to shake
Got you on my mind, damn near all the time
And I’m worried what you would say

Look at my phone, screen kills my eyes
As I desperately try, fingers too fast
But it never lasts, as I close it back up
You’ll never know how many times

I’ve thought of calling, just to hear your voice
Wouldn’t say nothing, get lost in the minute
But you’d know its me, and I no longer see
As I smash my head down for another quick dream

You’re all that I dream of, it slowly kills me
Mind won’t shut up, heart can’t let be
As I struggle to lay here, to pass some time
Until I can get up out of this bed today

Make it through my shower, no tears in eyes
Walk to the bus, pain shoots on by
All these people around, avert their eyes
‘Cause all mine would do is give up the prize

Make it to work, struggle the day
Lost in my job, as everything sways
Rambling mind, just won’t die
Counting the hours until it’s safe to be

Oh, its barely surviving, day by day
As all these thoughts, forced stuck on play
With feelings thundering, cracking my brain
Don’t know how what I’m doing these days

‘Cause I’ve picked up my phone
Pressed in your numbers
Before I complete this call
My body hits a brick wall
With thoughts running wildly
Of what you would say
And the prices I’d pay

So I close my phone
Avert that pain
Sit down and write
Long letters instead
They sound wonderful in my head
But I can’t bring to send them
Throw them out instead

I’ve tried to get better
Yet I just get worse
No idea what I’m doing
Feels like riding a hearse

Dreams and visions, haunting days
As I’m up in the morning, crack of three
Swear you were here, laying next to me
Only cold sheets, and tears in eyes

When will we wake up, and both realize
The feelings we saw, in each others eyes
Words left unspoken, everything’s broken
With time on our side, dreams can be realized
And pieces once smashed, can be reattached

Won’t be the same, but we’re both to blame
Learn from our past, don’t break the glass
No, not again, if we want it to last…