Be That Man

How do you balance the desires of the heart with the logic of the mind? How do you tell yourself that your biggest career break is also the one thing that forces your heart away from the ones you love most? How do you choose between multiple competing dreams, and life choices? But more importantly, how do you make these choices when everything around you seems to be closing in, falling apart? How do you keep it together, and succeed?

A routine, each and every day
Same damn thing each morning
As repeated each night
Over and over and over again
I might just go completely insane

Hmm. Too late for that I guess
Been there, done that, twice
Wasn’t much fun first time
Second was to relish pain
This time? Not sure why

No, I’ve not gone crazy
I’ve just stopped momentarily
From caring, worrying, giving a shit
You know, the normal things that happen
But then, it all ends, and the routine is there

It welcomes you openingly back
The boring of everyday life
Left to be played out on your own
As you spend your days working
And nights lost in eternal misery

But the dreams turned reality make it worth it right?
They make it all seem, better, in some strange way
Or is that just the hopeless optomist speaking?
The one part of your being that fights the longest
No matter how fucked up the rest of you becomes?

Couldn’t really say myself, there’s total disconnect
My life, full of the daily nothingness, bored
Work once more will take my days, lost
Turned into a night, filled with memories
And the eventual death known as sleep

What social life? Have you met me?
People suck, and then there’s the special kind
The ones begging you to decapatate them
So no, there will be no social life
Just a lonely existance curled up in a corner

But of a heart you ask? Where it go be?
Heart, maybe. Useable, no longer
Its partially spoken for, waiting
The rest, may as well be dead or frozen again
Its become too painful to look at anymore

So its back to the daily routine of nothingness
Where you wake up, go to work, draw lines
Continue drawing lines, maybe let them intersect
Then you print it out, and head back to a sleeping area
Maybe eat frozen cardboard, and pass out exhausted

Or maybe you realize that the dream once had, changed
It evolved into something more, something better
The dream job others would kill for, no longer suits you
It no longer offers that satisfaction to a thirst had
How can you explain that to others who doubt you?

The perfect job opportunity, twice had in as many years
Slipping away from mistakes made, a lost drive to go after
Allowing you to realize that maybe there’s something more
Something that was missing that matters more now realized
That this was only the smaller of your dreams, not meant to be

Yes, the career would be great, an achievement by any means
But what if there’s something more thats being missed out on
Something that would fill in that longing desire perminately
How do you make the choice between the two?
How can you, knowing the consequences either way?

I’m not giving up the dream career just yet
Though difficult times lay ahead, they can be overcome
But there’s still a bigger dream that needs to be seen true
Time however, for to see it made so, is unknown when to come
Though it must be made so, otherwise its just settling for whats there

At the end of the day, I can look my kids in the eye
Without a single shred of doubt clouding my mind
And tell them, that I truly went after my dreams
I’ve failed, sure, in their persuits, but I still got up
I kept pushing, kept driving towards them, unrelenting

Perhaps they were offered too soon in my journey
That I wasn’t quite ready to take them on in that order
But I still tried to anyway, and in those moments, euphoria
They may have ended, but there was always a bigger dream
One that meant more than that one, ready to take its place

I’ll keep getting knocked down in my persuits, and journey
I’ll find newer lows that haven’t been known before
Ways to screw up, fail, and still succeed in everything I do
And I’ll be happy at the end of the day, knowing I gave it my all
That that’s what truly matters with your dreams

So I’ll be that man, that chases his dreams, and fails
The man that gets back up and keeps trying, doing
The one that lets his kids see how high he’s risen
And still comforts them as he falls to his deepest lows
I’ll be that man to them, ’cause they need me to be

The man my father was, and wanted to see me be
A successful and failed dream chaser who tried
Who gave it his all, and came out on top
Then fell to the pits, and started anew
I’ll be the man that kept going back for more

Never truly satisfied to just settle for what is
But always asking, is there something more
Is there something new to learn, experience
To further my being, my existance
While always staying true in love, and to core values

Face the struggles thrown your way
Don’t let them change who you are
Or stray from those you love
Adapt, evolve, and accept
But be the man that dreams the wildest dreams
And persue them to the best of your ability