Life’s Twisted Games

Chase your dreams or regret having not for life. The game of things you should, could, or would have done or said once the moments past. The lessons of love and romance that hit extra hard when you really needed it to, or to remind you of what’s gone.

Life seems to like knocking me down, each time upping its game to knock me down that much farther. But each time it has, I’ve risen from those depths with a much clearer understanding of myself. I’ve fallen flat on my face attempting to chase my dreams, and I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me while succeeding at them. I’ve known love of a pure kind, of a twisted kind, and of the forgiving kind given from myself. I’ve learned to stop playing the game of should/could/would have, replacing it with the game of I will, and now.

I’ve hung onto thoughts and feelings far longer than I should have, and its cost me greatly, but its also rewarded me after the fact, but it’s taken me this long to realize it. I know my self worth, in employability, as friend, and as romantic partner. I know what I can give, how long I can keep giving it without faltering, and know when a break is needed to replenish the stores that is me. I’ve come to understand what I could let slide in life around me, as well as never allow a second time. It’s taken pain, lots of it, to the point where you stop having to tell your story, so that those listening can ask you the same question, “how do you do it?”. They want to know how I’ve kept going after everything that’s tripped me up; every twist in the path I’m going down. I don’t know how I do it, to be honest, just that I keep doing so.

As it continues to knock me down, so shall I rise against it each time, pushing that much harder back at life’s games, until some day, I won’t need to push anymore…